Prologue: Who Ya Gonna Call Now?
2014 – The Ghostbusters World War
Gravity Falls, Oregon faced its share on weirdness many
times in the past, at least in perspective of one Dipper Pines, a curious 13-year-old
with an eye for adventure and the paranormal especially. Over the summer, he
and his twin sister Mabel discovered sides of the town that no one, except for
their great uncles (Stan and Ford) and resident kook Old Man McGucket, knew
about.
But the incident happening upon them that day wasn’t of
the town’s making.
The ghostly invasion was worldwide.
According to news reports, the epicenter of it all was
New York City – home of the Ghostbusters. Multiple other Ghostbuster teams were
stationed there and other parts of the world, fighting against the ghoulish
creatures invading their dimension.
Unfortunately, Gravity Falls was without one.
The townsfolk were defenseless.
That was before Ford armed himself, Dipper, Mabel, Stan,
and Soos Ramirez (an employee of the Mystery Shack, their home business) with
“ghost elimination” equipment.
“If we can’t count on Ghostbusters to save us, then we’ll
just be Ghostbusters ourselves,” he
defiantly declared.
For a while, Ford’s plan worked perfectly.
The five heroes used guns and rifles that discharged
protonic energy not too dissimilar to those produced by legitimate Ghostbuster
tools, annihilating every ghoul in their sights toward the town square.
“Dude, this is so much like laser tag,” Soos reflected.
“Just, you know, like, with the whole ‘ghost-killing’ thing.”
“I totally see where you’re coming from, Soos,” Mabel
acknowledged. Firing on another barrage of specters, she ferociously cried,
“DIE, GHOSTS! DIE!”
Dipper didn’t want to outwardly express it, but he was
starting to feel like a real Ghostbuster himself. He had one ghost in the
crosshairs of his rifle, ready to unload protonic energy, but nothing
discharged.
“What the…?!” He looked on his rifle, noticing the “Low
Power” warning near the trigger, blinking in a blue LED display. “My gun’s out
of power!”
Mabel yanked on her trigger – nothing. “Mine is, too!”
“Same here, dude,” Soos lamented.
“Ya gave us defective
weapons?!” Stan complained to his twin brother.
“They aren’t defective,” Ford defended. “They’re just
rechargeable.”
“So, ya got any batteries on hand?” Stan questioned.
Ford sheepishly chuckled, rubbing the back of his head.
“Did I forget to mention they’re only port
rechargeable?”
“Lemme guess,” Stan miserably said. “The port’s back in
the Mystery Shack.”
Ford did not have to say anything to confirm it, but the
others figured it out by the embarrassment in his demeanor.
Powerless in more ways than one, the Pines family and
Soos found themselves swarmed by countless ghosts. Hovering over them, they
toyed with the mortals and reveled in their fear until deciding on the moment
to pounce.
And then…every single one of them exploded in ectoplasmic
viscera splurged all over Soos and the Pines.
“Ewwwww!” Mabel revolted. “Ghost boogers!”
“You get used to it,” spoke the voice of a woman none of
them recognized.
They spotted her approaching them, donned in a sanitation
uniform that was reconditioned as a Ghostbuster uniform. This was evident from
the logo patched on the upper part of her right sleeve, as well as her nametag
(“Gilbert”) above her left breast pocket and the unique Proton Pack strapped to
her back.
“Where did you
come from?” Stan asked.
The woman named Gilbert expressed a sense of uncertainty.
“You know, I’m still trying to figure that out myself.”
“Erin!”
From around the nearest corner appeared a heavyset,
bespectacled woman wearing the same type of uniform and equipment as Gilbert,
her nametag reading “Yates.”
“Thank God I found you,” she told Gilbert, whose first
name apparently was Erin.
“Abby, you alright?” Erin checked, hugging the plus-sized
woman. “Where are Patty and Holtzmann?”
GRRRRRRAAAAAAAWWWWLLLLLLL!!!!!
The inhuman roar sounded close by.
Erin and Abby ran to it, with the curious Pines family
and Soos following after.
A couple of blocks away from the square, they located two
more women in the same style of Abby and Erin – one was a tall African American
with a classy hairdo and a nametag reading “Tolan,” and the other a blonde with
a maniac expression and her own nametag that read “Holtzmann.”
They both squared off against a giant three-headed,
doglike beast, firing protonic streams at two of its heads.
“That’s a Cerberus!” An overjoyed Dipper identified.
“We’ve got an actual Cerberus here in
Gravity Falls!”
Abby and Erin quickly assisted their teammates, adding
two more streams that targeted the Cerberus’s third head and torso. The four
women continued their volley of proton fire until the Cerberus evaporated.
Mabel hugely smiled. “And we’ve got actual Ghostbusters here in Gravity Falls – and they’re all girls!”
“Nice of you ladies to show,” Holtzmann jeered to Erin
and Abby.
“One of you wanna explain what happened to us,” Patty
demanded. “One second, we’re celebrating a win over Rowan in New York, and then
the next we’re in some jacked-up version of Mayberry.”
“That portal must’ve given off some after effects, once
we closed it,” Erin deduced. “It took us out of our dimension and into
another.”
KUR-CRACK!
A noise bearing the same register as lightning directed
their attentions skyward.
The swirl of blood red clouds dissipated, turning into a
pleasant sunny morning sky. All of the Gravity Falls residents erupted in
cheers, mostly for the four Ghostbuster women that came from nowhere and saved
them.
“Why’re they cheering for us?” Abby inquired. “All we did was wipe out the monsters. We had
nothing to do with the sky.”
“Who cares,” Patty said. “This is R-E-S-P-E-C-T we’re
gettin’ here. Something we don’t get
much of back home.”
Erin disconcertedly frowned. “Speaking of home…how’re we
going to get back?”
Surrounded by euphoric townspeople, none of the four
women realized the entire scene was being observed by a yellow,
triangular-shaped being wearing a top hat and floating at a distance in the
purified skies.
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