Chapter Two: Steal Our Sunshine

            A few hops and a skip. That’s what it took for Leidy to fit into one spare Ghostbuster uniform out of the second floor locker room. It was a tight fit but she managed nonetheless. Though it had a Ghostbusters patch stitched on the sleeve, a nametag made out of gray duct tape was crudely strapped above the right breast pocket and labeled as “Rookie.”

            She heard someone walk in behind her, turning stiffly to see Christina.

            “Leidy? You getting settled in alr—?” The secretary stopped as she noticed the undersized uniform on the young woman.

            “What do you think?” Leidy modeled herself, again turning in a stiffened motion.

            “I think you might’ve tried on a uniform left over from the Junior Ghostbusters program.” Christina could make out every detail of Leidy’s athletic figure through the snugly fabric. “Some of those kids were a little shorter than you.”

            Leidy’s satisfaction didn’t waver. “I will make it work. I am only happy to be living my dream after so many years of watching mi hermano save the world from monsters. I hope he is having a great vacation.”

            “I do, too. He had a pretty nasty breakup over this girl who became half-immortal when she was still working with us.”

            “Half-immortal? I do not understand. How can someone be ‘half-immortal’?”

            Christina passively shrugged. “Something about molecules reversing and blah, blah, blah. I dunno. She chose the Underworld over him – that’s all that I know.”

            Leidy’s heart sank. “Pobre hermanito.”

            The downstairs phone rang. They heard Donald, Goofy, and Mickey (as usual) fight over who had it.

            “Every day for the last four years!” Christina huffed, hurrying back to the first floor with Leidy in tow. Assuredly, there the boys were, on her desk, wrestling over the phone while knocking all of the contents off.

            “Guys, guys, GUYS!”

            They literally froze in place, allowing Christina to reach over and take the phone out of their grips.

            “Ghostbusters,” she said into the receiver.

            “Yes, we need your help!” The voice on the other end was a frightened teenage girl. “We spotted a ghost in the Gracie Manor in Washington Heights! It’s so scary! Please get here fast!”

            “We will, sweetheart,” Christina reassuringly said. “Can you describe it for me?”

            Total silence followed before she heard nothing else but a dial tone.

            “She hung up,” a baffled Christina notified the others. “All she said was that she saw a ghost at the Gracie Manor up in the Heights.”

            “Then that’s where we’re goin’!” Mickey said. “C’mon, fellas…and Leidy!”

            The three freshly-minted Ghostbusters and their newest recruit climbed into the Ectomobile and sped off into the night.

            Little had they known about the group of rebelliously dressed youths watching across the street from the Ghostbusters firehouse HQ. One of the rebels – a girl with a purpled fashion sense that matched with her long hair – pocketed her smartphone.

            “Alright, guys,” she told her cohorts. “It’s payback time.”

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            What was supposed to have been a stress-free vacation quickly turned into a maddening quest for justice. Natalie forced them all into investigating these other Ghostbusters, the ones who “stole our sunshine,” in her very own words.

            They spent the better part of an afternoon questioning the residents of Gravity Falls, each and every one providing their humbled opinions of the local heroes:

            “We love ‘em,” said Sheriff Blubs.

            “Can’t get enough of ‘em,” said his right-hand man, Deputy Durland.

            “Yeah, I guess they’re pretty cool, but they’ll never be as popular as me,” said Pacifica Northwest.

            “The Ghostbusters? Yeah, man. Those gals are the best,” said Wendy Corduroy.

            “They’re such amazing women. Don’t tell anyone, but we’re throwing a special little party for them in the town square,” said Mayor Tyler Cutebiker.

            “I’m Old Man McGucket! Can I haves yer shoes?!”

            That last one wasn’t so much praise for the Ghostbusters – more like…something.

            Regardless, none of the townsfolk gave any helpful responses, except for one.

            “I was on the scene the night they arrived, during the World War event,” said local reporter Shandra Jimenez. “I interviewed them shortly after the horror came to an end. Neither of them seemed to have known where they were, only that they came here through a portal of some kind.”

            “That explains it then,” Spengler deduced. “They’re from another dimension – much like the others we encountered in our battle with Chernabog.”

            “Wonder why they didn’t go back,” Lisa said.

            “Probably enjoyed all the attention,” Natalie presumed.

            “Hey, are you the people asking about the Ghostbusters?”

            Their heads turned toward a trio of characters: two thirteen-year-old twins (a boy and a girl) accompanied by a stocky, buck-toothed man wearing a jade greenish gray shirt with a big, dark poorly-painted question mark on the front and the word “Staff” on the back.

            “They don’t live too far from our place, the Mystery Shack,” said the twin boy. “We can take you to them, if you want.”

            “His name’s Dipper, by the way, and I’m Mabel,” the twin girl randomly introduced. “And this big cuddly teddy bear with us is Soos.”

            “Awe, shucks, Mabel,” Soos said. “But it’s just the baby fat.”

            Accepting the assistance of the three helpful individuals, they climbed into J.G.’s Wrangler. Unbeknownst to them, however, two black-suited men – the same pair from the diner – observed their departure.

            “Hard to believe the actual GBs are in town the very same time Cipher’s gonna make his move,” the young African American suit said. “The real question is when that’s goin’ down.”

            “Soon, slick,” said the older Caucasian suit. “Soon.”

            “’Scuse me, sonny!” The two men spun around, facing the bearded old hillbilly known as Old Man McGucket. He spoke directly to the young African American suit, “Can I haves yer shoes?!”

            “Um…no.”

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            Following Dipper and Mabel’s instructions, J.G. drove the Wrangler to the outskirts of Gravity Falls. They passed the Mystery Shack, a tourist trap that also was the home of Dipper, Mabel, and Soos.

            “You kids live there,” Jacqueline said with disgust. “Bless your sweet hearts.”

            By sunset, they arrived further out in the woods and upon a cabin with a flickering neon Ghostbusters logo sign hanging above the entrance.

            “So unprofessional – and I’m not just talking about the sign,” Natalie criticized. “They’ve got their headquarters this far out of town? It’s like having a Papa John’s in Cleveland, when ya got somebody orderin’ in Idaho.”

            Mabel gave a symphonic knock on the cabin door.

            “Visiting hours from nine to five,” the voice of a sharp, eccentric woman answered on the other side. “For after hours, pull up at the drive-thru.”

            Her acerbic wit baffled the retired DGBs.

            “Guess we can add ‘poor customer service’ to the list,” Natalie griped before pounding and kicking on the door. “Open this door, woman!”

            “What’s the password?” The woman cynically said.

            Natalie became even more enraged.

            “Holtzmann, just answer the door,” said another woman inside the cabin.

            And, just like that, it was opened. The mordant woman on the other side was one with long blond hair that was as uncontrolled as her clothing. “I still wanna hear that password,” she said.

            “The password is ‘please’,” said the extra polite Mabel.

            “Ding-ding, chicken wing for my favorite best friend,” Holtzmann commended, exchanging in a fist bump with Mabel. Turning her attention to Dipper, she joked, “Got my Cheese Whiz, boy?”

            Soos, taking the jab seriously, confessed, “Uh, we actually had Cheese Whiz, but I ate it on the way here.”

            “You know, Holtzmann, you are my least favorite Ghostbuster for this exact reason,” Dipper disdainfully said.

            “Admit it, Dipper, you love her,” Mabel teased.

            “Oh, he totally loves me,” Holtzmann added to the mockery, winking at Dipper. Her luscious blue eyes, shaded behind yellow-tinted goggles, looked to Spengler and developed sincere infatuation. “Hello, big boy,” she addressed him in a very sultry manner. “Who’s your tall, dark, and handsome friend, Mabel?”

            Spengler froze, uncertain how to respond.

            “Uh, hello?” Natalie attempted to reach Holtzmann’s attention. “There are five other people here!”

            “Yeah, don’t care,” Holtzmann nonchalantly dismissed.

            “Holtzmann, who’s at the door?”

            Two other women – one short and pudgy, the other a bit tall and plain (both brunette) – appeared behind Holtzmann at the doorway.

            “Hello,” the tall, plain woman addressed their guests. “I’m Dr. Erin Gilbert and this is Dr. Abby Yates.” She gestured to her short, pudgy associate. “Is there something we can help you all with?”

            “Yeah,” Natalie coldly responded. “You can help by shutting down your little business – because the real Ghostbusters are here!”